Crappy Things People Say - And Gentle Truths You Deserve to Hear
Pregnancy, birth, and parenting are some of the most sacred and intense transitions in a person’s life. Yet, far too often, people (and sometimes even providers) say things that are dismissive, judgmental, or downright harmful. These phrases may come from a place of ignorance or outdated thinking, but they can leave deep emotional imprints.
Let’s shed light on these commonly heard comments—and offer some loving, affirming truths in their place.
During Pregnancy
What they say:
“You’re not the first woman to be pregnant.”
“You’re too emotional—it’s just hormones.”
“You’re carrying small/big—are you sure everything’s okay?”
“You’re lucky you even got pregnant.”
“Morning sickness is just part of it. Toughen up.”
“There’s no way you’ll make it to your due date—you look bigger than that.”
“You're still pregnant? That baby needs to come out!”
“You’re gaining too much weight.”
“You’re not gaining enough weight.”
“It’s going to get worse, just wait.”
“Oh, you just wait until those contractions start. You’ll be begging for the medications.”
What’s true:
Every pregnancy is unique and deserves respect. Only you know what it feels like to be pregnant in your body. You are the expert, and we trust your expertise.
Your emotions are valid—hormones amplify real feelings, not imaginary ones. Everything feels closer to the surface. Allow yourself the freedom and space to feel your emotions. Then, when you’re ready, let them pass.
Comments about your body aren’t helpful. You and your provider know what’s normal for your pregnancy.
Gratitude and struggle can exist at the same time.
Discomfort in pregnancy is real, and you deserve support and comfort—not dismissal. Discuss with your provider some tips to ease your discomfort.
Your body knows exactly how to grow and carry your baby. You are right on time, just as you are.
Babies come when they’re ready—your body and baby are working together in perfect rhythm.
Your worth is not measured by the scale. You are nourishing life.
Your journey is your own, and growth looks different on every body.
You deserve encouragement, not fear-based warnings.
You may find strength, clarity, and beauty in labor. You are more capable than fear-based comments suggest. Never forget how wildly capable you are!
During Birth
What they say:
“All that matters is a healthy baby and mother.”
“You don’t need a doula; we’ll take care of everything.”
“You cannot plan birth, so there isn’t any point in making a birth plan.”
“Why would you want to feel pain? Just get the epidural.”
“Home birth is dangerous.”
“Don’t be dramatic. Birth is hard for everyone.”
“You’re not progressing fast enough.”
“You’re too loud.”
“That’s not how we do things here.”
“We’re just going to do this; it’s routine.”
“You won’t remember this part anyway.”
What’s true:
You matter, too. All of you. A healthy baby and mother are not the only outcomes that count. How you feel about your birth matters.
You have a right to choose a birth team that includes emotional and physical support.
Making a birth plan isn’t about planning out birth. It helps you prepare for birth by giving you time during pregnancy to research and make sound decisions. Your birth plan communicates your preferences and desires for birth.
Your preferences and values around birth are valid and deserve to be honored.
Many birth settings are safe when well-supported and attended by skilled providers. What is important is that you feel safe and secure where you choose to give birth.
You are allowed to express your experience. Birth is intense, and your voice matters.
Birth unfolds in its own time. You deserve patience and trust in the process.
Vocalizing in labor is a powerful tool, not a problem.
You are the expert on your body. Your birth space should honor your voice.
You deserve informed consent, not assumptions. You have the right to decline anything.
You are fully present for the birth of your child, and your memories matter.
In Parenthood
What they say:
“Sleep when the baby sleeps.”
“You’re spoiling the baby.”
“Breast is best.”
“You need to get your body back.”
“Don’t hold the baby so much.”
“You should just .”
“Enjoy every moment—they grow up so fast.”
“Why are you still breastfeeding?”
“You’re doing it wrong.”
What’s true:
Resting as a new parent is essential, but the reality is more complex than a soundbite.
Babies can’t be spoiled—they’re wired for connection and safety.
Fed is best. Nourishing your baby includes feeding, bonding, and your mental health. There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to how you feed, comfort, or raise your child. The Nurturing Company will connect you with whatever resources you need for your feeding journey.
Your body has done something miraculous—it deserves love, care, and patience. “Bouncing back” is a lie from society.
Holding your baby fosters attachment, trust, and emotional security.
You know your baby best. Trust your instincts.
It’s okay if every moment isn’t joyful; this season is beautiful and hard. It’s okay if you don’t think you will miss this stage one day.
You and your baby get to choose your feeding journey—there’s no timeline.
Perfection is not required. Presence, love, and patience are enough. What matters is what is “right” for you and your family.
You deserve to walk through pregnancy, birth, and parenting surrounded by compassion, not criticism. When the world offers pressure or shame, may you return to the truth: your experience is valid, your needs matter, and you are doing an incredible job.
Have you heard any of these phrases in your own journey? What truths helped you rewrite them? Share your story in the comments, or reach out to connect.
