Pregnant with a Toddler (or Two!): Real-Life Tips for Surviving and Thriving

Congratulations! You’re pregnant (again)!

How exciting. And exhausting.

Growing a tiny human while caring for another one or two (who don’t understand why all of a sudden mom is soooo tired and slow-moving) is such a wild ride. All that you are doing right now is HARD WORK! Give yourself credit. You are literally growing a tiny human from scratch; kidneys, eyeballs, fingernails, and squishy cheeks (face and bum)! And all of that is hard by itself. Then add on keeping a big kid alive too; sneaking in naps during theirs, playing “just one more episode of Bluey”, and surviving on leftover goldfish. You may be feeling overjoyed, overwhelmed, and a range of other emotions. We get it! You are not alone in any of those feelings and in this journey.

We see you. We get you. And we are here to tell you that you are doing so well!

1. Set Realistic Expectations

Friend, (can we call you that?) adjust your expectations now.

You never thought you would be leaning into screen time as much as you are now? (Neither did we, and it doesn’t have to stay this way.) You never thought you’d have to come up with so many games where you can lie down? (Doctor, spa, racetrack; those are a few Bri used.) Do you feel bad for not being able to do all the fun things with your big kid that you used to do? (It is only for a short time.) Is your kiddo learning that mom cannot keep up when they start running? (Ours did too.)

We understand all of that! Embrace the flexibility; there may be many days when the focus is on everyone surviving, and there is nothing wrong with that. Do what you can, and leave the rest; give yourself LOADS of grace.

2. Prioritize Rest (Even If It Looks Different)

Lean on your community whenever you can. Ask a grandparent to take your big kid to the park or library. Have a friend help you catch up on laundry. Snuggle with your big kid while watching a movie. Rest might look quite different from what it did during your first pregnancy. During our first pregnancies, we took many easy naps and realized how lucky we were.

3. Involve Your Older Child in the Pregnancy

Your big kid’s world is about to change in many ways. Including them in the pregnancy and preparation for the new baby can help make that transition smoother. Talk about the baby often with them and tell them the baby’s name if you have chosen one. Read books about welcoming a new baby and being a big sibling. And whenever possible, let them be your big helper.

4. Create New Routines That Work for Now

Decide when other major changes for your big kid should happen, before or after the baby arrives. Are you thinking about potty training, changing beds, stopping naps, removing the pacifier, or making a big move? Think about which of these might be better to wait until after the baby is born. Big changes can be overwhelming for tiny humans, and having several close together can be a lot for them and their big feelings. Practice new routines and skills during pregnancy to help your big kid adjust before the baby arrives.

5. Be Gentle with Yourself (and Your Emotions)

This is hard work. It’s okay if sometimes it feels really tough. Pregnancy is a beautiful yet humbling journey. Your body has experienced this before, so it might be quicker to show off the bump, shift your center of gravity, or give you all the pregnancy symptoms and sensations. Our hormones make it difficult to contain our emotions. And you might feel more like your toddler with their big feelings than you’d like. That’s okay. Give yourself plenty of space to sit with your feelings. Remember that it's okay to cry (or sob), rage, feel overwhelmed, or feel like you're ready to be done. Let others step in to help, even if they do it in ways you wouldn’t.

6. Prepare for the Postpartum Shift

We always suggest making a plan for the first few weeks after the baby arrives. Think about what might be helpful: childcare, meals, visitors, dog walking, and any other support. Whatever helps you get as much healing and recovery time as needed in the first few weeks. Find ways to have special time with your big kid, even if it’s just 10 minutes. Talk to your big kid about how their schedule or routine might change when the baby is coming and after the baby is home.

7. Embrace the Chaos and Celebrate the Moments

Take all the pictures and videos. Savor the moments as they are now, and dream about how things will be in the near future. Write down the sweet and hilarious things your big kid says or asks. If you feel like you were more prepared for your first pregnancy, don’t worry - it’s completely normal. Your baby only really needs you, your love, a place to sleep, food in their belly, and something to keep them cozy. That’s it. If the nursery isn’t finished, if the closet isn’t perfectly organized, or if you haven’t installed the car seat yet - it’s all going to be okay. You are more prepared than you think, you’ve done this before! You’ve got a bit more confidence and experience this time around! Welcome to life with more than one kid! It's kind of crazy, but there will be so much more love!

Conclusion

Growing your family while still being there for the tiny human you already have is such a superhero move. Goodness, it’s hard, but so worth it. This is only a short season; soon, you’ll have another little person to adore.

You will find a new rhythm, and you’re going to be great at it!